


Strange Love

by Immortalsane



Series: The Beast Epistolary Game [1]
Category: The Beast (Epistolary Game)
Genre: Addiction, Alien Biology, Alien Character(s), Alien Gender/Sexuality, Alien Sex, Alien/Human Relationships, Anal Sex, Angst, Bugs & Insects, Drug Addiction, Drug Withdrawal, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/F, Femdom, Horror, Human/Monster Romance, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Other, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Substance Abuse, Tragic Romance, Trans Female Character, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 17:40:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortalsane/pseuds/Immortalsane
Summary: A woman has a secret, an alien that has pushed her way into the woman's life. Her diary chronicles the story of an unconventional affair





	1. July 6

**Author's Note:**

> I bought this game a couple weeks ago and this was my first run through. Hope you enjoy it!

She wasn't there today. I wonder if the last few days were a dream. But her smell is all over the cushion of the cot she lays on. It was torture, i needed to feel her touch. I buried my face in the bedding and drank in that rain and dust smell til i was so turned on my knees were shaking. I felt shameless and ashamed as I sat up, mouth watering with the need to taste her. 

 

She sheds, little shards of her shell here and there, and i've gathered them just to keep her space clean. I took one and put it in my mouth, the taste enough to help me as i rubbed another against myself till i got off. I felt horrified at the feeling of her cast off in my mouth on my tongue when i was finished, but...it got me through. 

 

I don't know what i hope more: that she comes back or that she doesn't. 


	2. July 7

I found her. She was in the storage closet with the water heater, huddled around it for warmth. Her shell had dulled, the oily color fading to a matte with the faintest sheen. 

 

I worry about her. I don't know what i'll do if she dies. I barely know anything about her. I lured her out with a heating pad and blankets and made her a better nest. She chittered like she does when we're making love or fucking or whatever you call it when a monster and an alien have sex. I know i’m a monster because the sound of her pleasure heated me up and i made love to her, knowing she was ill.

 

I couldn’t risk kissing her, the smell of her mouth was sickly sweet and no doubt toxic in her illness, but the little place i slide myself into was moist and welcoming. I didn't fuck her, not wanting to hurt her, but her smell, though muted, and her noises drove me crazy. I fingered her, and kissed and stroked myself on her shell, the siky, slick feel as hot as ever.

 

I hope she understands, or at least gained pleasure. She clicked and sighed as though she did. I laid with her for hours as she warmed back up, and when i finally had to leave to eat and care for myself, her color was improving. I wish i could understand her, or that i knew how to care for her. 


	3. July 9

I think she enjoys what we do. God knows i do. She was almost back to her normal brightness today, and she came up into the house to look for me. I got her back downstairs but she grabbed me, pulling me into her nest. She mounted me, as she did the first time, and it was ecstasy as always. 

 

I have to be careful though, when she's the one on top. Her penetration makes me high, and nauseous after, and it's not uncommon for me to throw up for an hour once the pleasure fades. She fills me with a thick, oily fluid that burns like i've eaten jalapenos or like alcohol in a cut. And though i have longed to take her in my mouth, i haven't gotten the courage yet. I tried a condom on her but that just meant that i had to get a condom back out from the force of her ejaculation. And she goes deep, deep inside me, so deep i feel like i'm coming apart. I love it. It's better than anything in the world.

 

I can't stop. I'm always fine after i get all it out of my system, cleaning myself out. Well. I  _ have _ been more nauseous than normal more often, but...i can't stop. I need her. And she needs me, she takes me at her will. And i will submit to her always, no matter what may happen.


	4. July 11

I borrowed a portable sonogram from work, curious to see inside her, learn more about her. And i got the shock of my life when i checked the orifice i've been thinking of as her pussy.

 

She's pregnant. She's not sick, just gestating. 

 

I don't know whether to panic or celebrate. It's not the kind of thing you expect to happen, the ridiculous tabloid narrative of the alien love child. I don't even know that it's mine, maybe...maybe there's something about what we do that sustains her, that helps her to bring her children into the world. 

 

i hope they're as beautiful as she is. I hope they don't get the sticky hair on her legs, though, those feel like snot and duct tape got together and grabbed your skin. I hate those, but that's how she picks things up, so i suppose they'll need them. The little i could see on the screen tells me they're the same general shape as she is, so alien hybrid babies with human hands are probably not happening. I counted five of the little things, or at least i think i did. They were moving and squirming and it was hard to say. 

 

God. I'm going to be a father. Mother. Fuck, gender is weird enough without an alien girlfriend. If she is alien and not something native and undiscovered. But...there will be children in my house. My mother would be delighted to have grandchildren, but i don't think a mass of chitin and limbs is going to be what she had in mind. I can imagine the look on her face when i show up with five children that aren't even the same species as i am and declare them mine. 

 

It's soon, though. If her anatomy is similar in function to mammalian, and i have no reason to guess one way or the other, she's starting to have contraction and dilation. It could be tonight, even. 

 

I'm taking a couple days off work to watch over her. I want to be here when the babies come. I wonder if she'll let me stay near, or if she'll leave after. I hope not. I'd miss her too much. 


	5. July 12

No progress yet on the kids, although she mounted me again. After i finished cleaning out, i came back and just cuddled with her a while. 

I wonder how she sees me. Her eyes or what i think are her eyes, remind me of a mantis shrimp. But they're fixed in place, they don't move at all. But i can always tell that she knows i'm there, she chitters when i come near, strokes me with her strange and unpleasant “hands,” rubs against me when i touch her. 

She looks so strange to me. She's two thirds my size, but almost as heavy as i am. Am i a giant to her? Is my body as strange to her as hers is to me? Does she look at me, naked and soft and alien, and see something arresting and compelling, as i do when i look at her?

I wonder if she sees more colors than i do. If she hears the same way i do, or at all. She reacts to me easily but i can't tell if she reacts to the sight of me, the sound of me, or something else. She reacts in total darkness but then, she could be seeing infrared or electricity or magical quantum aether, i don't know. 

But she touches me when i'm near. She talks to me when she sees me. She seeks me out and cuddles and nuzzles and kisses me all over. I know she sees me. I know she knows me. 

God, i wish i could understand her.


	6. July 13

Still no babies. I've got today and tomorrow that i can spend with her, and then i have to go back to work. I don't know, maybe it’s private and i need to be away for her to give birth. If that's the case, then i might give her a day or two after i go back to work to see if she moves along further.

I have to wonder, though, how i'm going to hide all of these aliens or whatever they are. I already fucked up once, that time Jess let herself in soon after i found her. She saw us together and took off, and...after the coma, Jess remembered nothing. And i mean nothing, like the last five years, our entire friendship just gone. 

That was the moment i knew She could tell me from others, cause i didn't know she could do that. It was...it should have been horrifying. I mean, Jess was my best friend. But...she was going to call the cops, the government. I was going to lose her right when i was falling in love. 

If they can all do that, keeping secrets shouldn't be too hard. But still. You only get so many people collapsing in your yard before people get suspicious.


	7. July 14

She did it again, what she did to Jess. At least, i think so. Some idiot broke into the basement while i was sleeping, so i wasn't there to stop her. Maybe a stoner, or a kid looking to steal something. I don't know, there wasn't much left, and what was left was...strange. It i hadn't found the shapes of hands, a toe, a part of a head, i wouldn't know what i was looking at.

At least now i know what she eats.


	8. July 15

She's insatiable. It's my last day before i go back to work, and she had to have me. She mounted me, rutted with me. It was harder, rougher than before. Better, more primal. She shouted when she came, filling me up with her burning cum. 

It must have gone deeper inside me than before, because this time i was coughing it up. It's hard on the throat, that oily stuff. It's brackish brown and mucilaginous. It should horrify me that that stuff goes inside me, God knows it hurts. It smokes in the air, and tastes like burning rubber fumes. Smells like hot asphalt. Feels like hot asphalt. 

I don't know if it's hurting me permanently to take her loads again and again. I don't feel damaged, but what does internal damage feel like? I got some on my hand when i cleaned it up and it burned just like it did inside me. I left it for a few minutes to see if it would hurt me worse, but when i wiped it away, my skin was just reddened and irritated. The redness stayed for hours, though, and just like my insides, it didn't stop feeling warm until the redness had faded. 

It feels amazing going in. I love how dominant she is when she's taking me. And once it's out, i feel like i've drunk sunlight, warm and achy inside.

I saved some. Put it in a glass vial. The equipment at work is terrible, but we have a small lab. Maybe i can learn what it is, know if it's safe once and for all. I go back today, the first time i'll work a shift after she uses me. It'll be nice to see patients with that feeling inside me, like a secret, like a slut, working while still sore from my lovers attention. I just hope she and the kids are ok.


	9. July 17

I don't know what to think. I did a mass spec of her cum and it was...it was a lot of alkaloids. Several compounds, analogous to theobromine, morphine, psilocin, and capsaicin in an organic polymer colloid of water with just a touch of ethanol to keep the alkaloids dissolved. 

It's a drug. If you could snort it, you'd get so high you'd blow your mind. I remember the first time, i was...she looked so alien, and she was...god, it's weird to stop and realize how attractive she's become. Because i don't think i've always found her attractive. I think the first time i was scared out of my mind until she came. 

What does it mean? Have i been roofied to love her? Psilocin, morphine, and low dose ethanol is a potent mix, and the others...theobromine would make it spread faster and more cleanly, capsaicin inflames tissue and increases local blood flow...and morphine, theobromine, and ethanol are all highly addictive. 

I mean, i have...she has that effect. I hate to be away from her, i crave her. She makes my mouth water and my body reacts strongly and pleasurably to her touch. 

Does an addict love the feeling of needles after a while? I don't know. I don't...I just don't know. 

The dosages are safe, though. Even rectally. It's mostly water and a suspended chitin analogue. Lots of nitrogen in her. But i tested the whole sample and it's not...dangerous. Just enough to get me high and keep me coming back. 

Safe. So...so i can keep making love to her. I shouldn't. This should change things. This should make me uneasy or make me angry. But i haven't touched her all day, and...i miss her. 

It doesn't matter. I won't let it. Love is a chemical reaction, she just uses different chemicals.


	10. July 18

It will be soon, i think. She's not moving as much and when i touch her, she doesn't react. Her color is still good, and i can feel her respiration. Her musk is stronger, now. I don't have the sonogram, i had to take it back, but...i think i'll have babies soon. I wish i'd waited to take the time off. Not sure you can get maternity leave for your alien love children.


	11. July 19

It happened. Only four, i must have miscounted. They're as long as my hand from base to tip, and they're different colors than their mother. She's black with that gorgeous sheen, but they're...one is piebald, her black with patches the color of...of my skin. One is the color of my eyes, a mottled green with flecks of copper and amber. One is the color of my hair, shining streaks of red, orange, blonde. And one is literally blood red. They all have her iridescence, though. 

But if i had any doubts they're mine, it's gone. The colors would be telltale enough, but their limbs are more human than hers and they have little graspers on the front two that could be hands if you squint and felt generous. She's more rounded, but they have curves like a human torso. And while she has ten limbs, they have six. Two arms, four legs.

They went straight for the stuck down leftovers of her last meal, they were still eating when i got home. I had a momentary worry when they rushed to me, but they just wanted affection, chittering softly in higher pitched tones. They're adorable, really. 

She, on the other hand, went right for me, pulling me into bed. I wouldn't think she'd be eager for sex so soon, but maybe she gives birth more easily than we do. She wanted me inside her this time, which is always...it's so hot, but there's a thrill of danger every time. I can feel her inner walls working at me, and i have to time it right. 

The first time i fucked her i was worried and used a dildo. That was a smart choice because she clamps down hard enough to pulverize whatever's inside her. Her muscles give a little stutter right before it happens and that means get out now. But pull too soon and we have to start over. I haven't pulled out too late yet. 

I was lucky again today, and i smiled as she came, jerking and chuffing and chittering. She snuggled up to me and we watched the kids finish their food. I'll run to the store in a minute and pick up some meat for them. 

Oh, names have been picked out. I'm sure they have names in their own language, but...i'm calling them Carrie, Red, Kelly, and Rick. And she...i hoped i would learn her name, but i don't think we'll ever be able to talk. So i'll call her Jet. I hope she likes it.


	12. July 21

One of my coworkers commented that i looked happier today, asked me if i was getting some. I don't know if i was still high or just eager to tell someone, but i said yes. She joked that she hopes i use protection, and of course, i lied. Said every time. 

I can't get pregnant and i doubt any disease could survive in her, not that could be passed on. And i did try to put condoms on her, but she's too long and it has no grip on her. And of course there's the...well, the effects of her cum inside me.

The kids are doing well. I think they've already started to grow bigger. Meats going to be a little expensive, but...better than them going out and hunting.


	13. July 24

I have never hurt so much in my life, but i had to try it. I had to find out if i'm addicted. And the answer is yes. 

Skipping my nightly sex made me wake up in a cold sweat. I needed to know for sure, so i skipped morning as well, gently avoiding her after feeding the kids. I called in sick, swapped a shift with another tech, as it worsened, tremors, muscle pain, fatigue and insomnia. I think i hallucinated there towards the last, or maybe not. She came upstairs, found me shaking in bed, and helped me the only way she could. 

But the hallucination is that i could swear we had a conversation. That she asked me why i was avoiding her, what was making me sick. I don't remember what i told her, but the next i knew i was feeling a hundred times better. I laid in bed, curled around her, our kids tucked in with us, for hours. 

I don't remember cleaning out, but i must have. At least i hope i did. If i absorbed all of it somehow...i'll be ok, but...that kind of increase could make the addiction worse. And while i love her, i do need to be able to go to work.


	14. July 25

Andrew came around work today. I think he wants to talk things out, that i'd just wanted space. He doesn't know. I hope he doesn't. I don't love him anymore, and i would never cheat on Jet, but that doesn't mean i want to feed him to my kids. I wish i could explain that i've met someone. Had a one night stand that became more. 

I guess i cheated on him with Jet, but...then again, she didn't take no. That should bother me, i think. But when i'm curled up next to her, our kids chatting amongst themselves, her cum hot inside me or my body weak and sated from topping her...i don't care. It may not be a fairy tale, but i'm happier than I’ve ever been. I just hope someday i can tell Andrew why we can't be together anymore. He deserves that much, but...i can't risk Jet or the kids.


	15. July 26

I came home today and i couldn't help but laugh. The kids had piled empty paint cans into a fort, that stuff they used to harden meat gluing it together. Kelly was king on the mountain when i arrived, defending her position with a dowel rod against her siblings, who were wielding the same. They're almost a foot long now, each of them. Kelly stopped fencing with Rick to wave at me and he toppled her, scrambling up into place. She was unhappy about that, but they abandoned their game to come get hugs before they retreated to their fort again. 

I could almost feel the exhaustion coming from Jet, and if i could understand her, i think she would have told me the kids had run her ragged all day. She kissed me, the feeling of her mandibles gentle on my lips, and pulled me into bed to snuggle and watch the kids play for a while. 

Jet is, hands down, the most affectionate partner i've ever had. She's always kissing me, touching me. The tiny suspicious part of my brain wonders if all her body fluids get me high, even the little sweat like residue her grasping limbs leave behind. But honestly, i don't really care. I love that she loves to hold me. That she loves to cuddle. 

I think i'll try showing the kids television, see if that keeps them entertained.


	16. July 27

Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. 

The kids talked today.

It was my first day off that wasn't a sick day in almost a week. I brought the spare television down and it was like magic. The kids were glued to the set for hours, watching old movies. I love noir films, and i had popcorn and they had beef jerky bites, and it felt like a proper movie day. They didn't even hide when their moms snuck in a little nookie like they have been, but as i was basking in the afterglow, Rick turned to me and said, i shit you not, “Can you two keep it down? We're watching a thing.”

I thought i was hallucinating again, i mean there's psilocin in there, but after i cleaned out and was mostly sober, i asked them if they could talk to me. 

And they said yes. 

I don't...i don't know how to express how happy i am. They can talk to Jet and to me. My little interpreters. She sees me as her mate, from what they tell me, and she loves me as much as i love her. 

I have a family. A real family. A mate and four rambunctious little kids. Well, not so little. They're the size of small dogs now, and growing stunningly fast. 

Screw anything i've said before, this is my fairy tale.


	17. July 29

I did it. Now that i know they can talk to me, now that i know for sure that i'm not in some weird alien beastiality relationship, i'm letting them come upstairs. I covered the windows with frosted applique to keep people from seeing in and we spent the day in the living room. Jet and i started to get amorous, and Kelly teased us before they retreated back to their room to play in their fort and watch tv. 

I'd forgotten how good it feels to be bent over a couch on my knees, someone holding me from behind. Jet prefers missionary, but i guess she was feeling kinky today. That's not the kind of thing i can ask the kids to translate, so i may never know. 

The last time i had sex in the living room was...god, two? Three months ago? Andrew and i were just starting to explore that side of things. He was weird about my dick, despite claiming it would be fine. It was shitty sex, nothing like the powerhouse of awesome that is Jet. I don't think Andrew and I would have lasted. I wish he'd stop leaving voicemails.


	18. July 31

I think my coworkers think i'm on drugs. The hilarious thing is, they're not wrong, but their convern is over the wrong thing. I wear long sleeves a lot these days. As much as i hate to admit it, Jet's grip must be burning me, cause i have all these little red lines that take hours to fade. The ones on my hands i cover with gloves at work, and i can use makeup to hide the red patches on my face. My body is an ever changing roadmap of mottled red lines and blotches these days. 

Totally worth it though. Maybe...maybe if i get a spray tan it will hide the marks better? I don't know, redhead with a tan might be even more suspicious!


	19. August 2

I did it. I took her orally. She was ramping up to rut me, and god, the sight of her. It’s pink, soft, just a bit shiny from the liquid lubricating it. It's one of my favorite parts of her and i had to have it in my mouth. It's slim, only three or four inches around, but it's damn near 18 long. And i got my lips to the base of her. 

It was so hot. Literally hot, the pre that she has heated my throat and mouth until i felt drunk, and i couldn't stop sucking her. 

I thought i was high before, blowing her blew me away. I did clean out after, and it was a little less fun having that capsaicin come back up the throat, but totally worth it. She was soft and gentle after. She fell asleep in my bed, and...i'm ready for that step. I'm going to sleep the whole night through with her.

I wonder, how do you propose to your alien girlfriend?


	20. August 18

I hate everything. I want to die. I woke up two weeks ago to find her sheen gone, her body still and curled in on itself. Two weeks of hell.

The kids tell me that she only lived two years. That was her whole life. The month we had together was the final stage. 

I cremated her. The crematorium at work barely fit her, but i managed to get her into the building and then into the oven without being seen. I have the ashes in an urn. 

I don't know what to do. I just...i feel like a piece of my soul is missing. I can't imagine that she's gone, but it's like a nightmare that doesn't stop. I don't have to imagine it, because it's real. 

The kids assure me that they'll live longer. They made cocoons a few days after their mom died. Carrie says they'll be sleeping for a year, and when they come out, Kelly says they'll look almost totally human. 

My mate is dead. My kids are pupating for the next year. The withdrawal was murder. I quit my job when they asked me to piss in a cup. Went to a clinic, they've got me on methadone now. They look at me like I'm a fucking junkie, and how the fuck do you tell people that you miss the woman that injected you more than you miss the drugs? 

I'm...i don't know what to do. I can't...i can't be with humans again. I don't know how or if i'll ever see another of them. I have a vague plan to wait til the kids come back out, Red said that...that they'd be children still, that they'd need to grow into it. Move to another state. Start over. Can't be a vet tech on methadone, but i have boobs and a cock and i'm not bad to look at. I'll probably cam or something, i'm already looking at rigs. 

But i just...I've lost the love of my life. And i never got to say goodbye. At least i have pictures. Towards the end, i took some selfies. We look happy in them. I printed one and i wear it in a locket with her name and the approximate dates of her life. 

Guess i'll just...get therapy and spend the rest of my life knowing that no one will ever match up again. If i believed in god, i don't anymore. 

But i have kids. I can't just...i can't. I have to be here for them. 

Jet would want me to live, i think. To try and be happy. 

So. Sex work, here i come. Maybe i can get a toy made in her image. Do fetish work with insect stuff. Something. 

I'm not sure i'll keep a diary after this. Maybe i will. But...i think this one's gonna have to be locked up. I can't risk the kids. 

Just...if anyone ever reads this...try not to judge me. I know my kids are growing up to be infiltrators. I know i'm probably heading up the charge on raising scouts, that this could be the start of an invasion or some other nightmare. But the love of my life was only with me for a month and she left me four kids to raise. Fuck the rest of the world, those kids are going to be loved like no child has been loved before. And if someday i'm looking down the barrel of some crazy alien weapon at one of my kids, i just hope they make it quick so i can get back to their mother at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a lot of fun! I broke the rules and played it all in one go, which i think is how i'll keep playing. If y'all wanna link to the game (i am not being paid to advertise, just love it) lmk and i'll stick it here.


End file.
